


The Weight of the Issue

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-26
Updated: 2005-01-26
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:46:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin is worried.





	The Weight of the Issue

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“How much do you weigh right now?” Justin asked using his most conversational tone. He’d been troubling over it since he got off the plane two nights ago from California.

Brian looked up, and narrowed his eyes. “A lady never tells.” He mocked looking back to his reports.

“Brian I’m your partner.”

“Good boy. Can you remember our phone number and address?”

“Brian.” 

“Awe you were doing so well.”

“Hey fuck you it was just a question.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Coz I do.”

Brian and Justin had a staring contest. “I dunno 190 I guess.”

“Yea, maybe, before you got sick.”

“Fuck you I have not gained weight.”

“No shit! That’s the problem. I don’t want you loosing weight Brian. Your doctor doesn’t want you loosing weight. How much do you really weigh right now, and don’t lie to me. I’m worried.”

Brian’s tongue wandered to his cheek. “One Seventy-five.”

“Brian!”

“Justin!” 

“I knew it! You’re not taking care of yourself. You promised.”

“I’m fine Justin. I just had a check up fake ball and remaining ball are doing lovely. I’m fine.”

“Except your doctor wants you to gain weight. I went to those appointments when I was here, Brian, I know what he said.”

“I’m too weak to go to the gym as much as I used to so I have to cut back so my muscle won’t turn in to fat.”

“If you ate how you were supposed to you’d be stronger, and you’d be back at the gym like you used to be.” Justin bit.

Brian got up and stormed into the bed room slamming the bathroom door. Justin leaned against the counter. That wasn’t how he’d planned to do it at all. Brian had looked different when he’d picked him up at the airport. When they made love that night Justin realized what the difference was. He wasn’t sickly thin. He had good color, and definition, but he was getting closer to skinny and farther from lean, and Justin was worried. He didn’t want Brian to make himself sick or weak. Justin weighed one hundred and seventy, and Brian almost always had him by thirty pounds being eight inches taller, and more muscular. He loved that. He loved feeling safe and protected in Brian’s strong arms. In all honesty Justin didn’t care how Brian looked as long as he was healthy. He wasn’t.

He opened the door to the bathroom slowly. Brian either didn’t hear or didn’t acknowledge his entrance. He was soaping his hair in the shower and Justin instinctively counted the ribs. He could see two more than he usually could when the man did that.

He quickly got ready for a shower and joined Brian.

“Sorry.” He said first and foremost.

Brian smirked and shook his head. Justin was worried, and that bugged him. He hated when Justin was worried about him because he knew what it felt like when he worried about Justin. He just felt like he was loosing part of himself physically and mentally. He’d lost a ball, lost the ability to do anything he wanted to for months while he puked up his guts over radiation, couldn’t exercise, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t stay awake, and had a whole list of things from his doctor now that even though he felt fine he still couldn’t do. He was pissed off, and was being stubborn. 

“I’m worried about you.” Justin whispered soaping Brian’s belly.

“I know you are.” Brian murmured kissing the top of his head. “The way you bring shit up, though, Jus is like in the manual of how to piss me off.”

Justin smiled, and took Brian’s arms wrapping them around himself. “I like that you have all that height and weight on me. It makes me feel safe.”

Brian smiled. “I know.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh well I kind of want my life back, and I’m getting really frustrated because nothing is like it was and my body wont listen to me my doctor doesn’t care what I want I’m missing a ball, and the fake one just isn’t doing it for me. There’s nothing I can do, and so complaining about it is virtually helpless. I feel like a troll, and I feel like every fag name my dad ever called me for feeling like that. And I’m pretty sure that for at least thirty seconds of every day for the rest of my life I’ll think about the fact that the cancer could come back, and that really fucking sucks.”

Justin stared at the man in front of him, speechless. He hadn’t even realized Brian had left the shower until a minute or two later. He quickly dried off pulling on his sweat pants before entering the bedroom. Brian was laying on the bed smoking a joint.

“Sorry.” Brian said it this time.

“Huh?” Justin asked his voice broke, and he realized he was crying.

Brian gestured to him, the crying. “Sorry.”

“You wouldn’t tell me this cause I was in California and you knew I would come home, and you’re an asshole! I would have come home because its more fucking important you selfless selfish bastard!” Justin blubbered crawling into their bed, and lying practically on top of him.

Brian scoffed petting the blond hair. “I don’t think that made much sense.”

“I don’t think I’m going back to California.”

“Justin.” Brian went rigid.

Justin looked up, and shook his head once looking right in Brian’s eyes. “I’m not going back to California.” 

Brian stared at the man he knew he loved. The only person other than his kid, and his best friend who could make anything feel even remotely better. “Ok, Sunshine.”

Justin kissed one of Brian’s newly revealed ribs, and nodded laying back and saying no louder than a whisper, “Ok, Bri.”


End file.
